Today is my anniversary, celebrating 7 years of wedded bliss. I’ve been planning on writing this post for a couple weeks and have been working on the right words. And title.
I kept debating between “Lucky #7” and “7 Year Itch.” Many years ago, as I was just entering my 20’s I worked closely with a couple whom I continue to look up to for a lot of life stuff to this day. I distinctly remember this couple celebrating their 7th wedding anniversary and discussing the “7 year itch.” I thought it was just playful banter, joking around as couples do. But then I lived through my 7th year with my husband. Ross and I met exactly 53 weeks before the day we were married. I’ve held many titles in my life, friend, daughter, sister, mother, employee, boss, and others. No title has been harder work then that of “wife.”
Now, by no means am I bashing my husband. He is the most perfect partner for me. He provides completely for my family. He is a devoted and loving father. He is compassionate and kind. He works harder then anyone. He brings a balance to my life that no one else can. I love him more then any other person on this planet. But none of those things make marriage easy. We still are in a relationship that requires daily attention and work. I always love this man, and I choose to be in our marriage, standing at his side every step of our journey. But I don’t always like him.
My parents gifted us with a night out aka free babysitting, for our anniversary. Time away from our children is one of the best gifts we can receive. Again, I love my children and spent most of my waking (and sometimes sleeping) hours with them. Which is exactly why time away from them is necessary and precious.
Ross and I took a 20 minute drive to the next town to what we thought was going to be a really nice dinner. It was not. The food was terrible and the service mediocre. We went to Culver’s for custard on the way home because neither of us finished our meals and we were still hungry! The best part of the night was laughing and joking about it. The food didn’t matter, it was never about what was on our plate. I was perfectly content just spending time with my husband.
On the drive over we started listening to our first dance song, “Crazy Girl” by the Eli Young Band. As I listened to the lyrics the “Itch” came to mind. The song’s first verse includes the lines:
We’re gonna do what lovers do
We’re gonna have a fight or two
But I ain’t ever changin’ my mind
The night before this date night, we were arguing. Last night, we were arguing. We bicker and argue often. Why? Because we are different people who’s every action affects the other person in some way. There is nothing in my life that isn’t shared with that man. Good, bad, ugly, hard, joyful. It’s all intertwined. The key to this entanglement is as the last line says, no matter what we go through, our vows run deeper. I will choose to stay at his side for the rest of my life.
After listening to that special song and reliving the memories of 7 year ago, I challenged Ross to think of our song for this last year of our marriage. What musical composition represented where our journey currently was? Ross was unable to come up with any songs (musical challenges aren’t his forte…pun intended). So I came up with two, and he agreed.
The first song that came to mind was “Meant To Be” by Florida Georgia Line and Bebe Rexha. To me, this song sounds more like a couple in their early days, deciding if they are going to stay in the relationship or not. That’s not where Ross and I are. The lyrics that hit home for me are from the chorus:
So, c’mon ride with me, ride with me
See where this thing goes
So, c’mon ride with me, ride with me
Baby, if it’s meant to be
Over the last year, Ross and I have seen some of our greatest challenges yet in our relationships. There will be more hard days down the road. But this year saw some doozies. We were confronted with obstacles that weren’t planned and we certainly weren’t ready for. We got mad. We cried. We worried. But when life got really hard, we did the best thing we could do. We were honest. We turned to each other instead of away. We leaned in, we dug deep. We recommitted to one another and lived our wedding day promises. We knew that life was going to take it’s course and as long as we jumped in together, whatever was going happen was going to be ok.
The other song that represented our year was “Love Someone” by Lukas Graham. Clearly, the title gives away some of the reason for this one. Lukas Graham wrote this song for his fiance and mother of his child and it very much represents a relationships and devotion of marriage. My favorite lines from the song are:
Even the worst ones, you make me smile
I’d stop the world if it gave us time
You open up your heart
When you love someone
You make room
The last seven years feel like a blink of an eye, but the pictures tell a different story. There are gray hairs and wrinkles that say we aren’t actually immortal. Our days that were once filled with college courses, R-rated movies and long road trips are now occupied with duplo legos, farm chores and laundry and the general chaos that comes with a family of five. However, no matter what activity, task or job is taking up our time, there is no one who I’d rather be struggling through it with then my husband.
I will continue to fight, bicker and disagree with my husband. We will always have challenges. We will always have struggles. But that’s what happens in life. We will also continue to communicate, laugh, grow, dream and love deeply. Our life isn’t perfect, but we are perfect for each other.
We celebrated today by spending quality time with each other and our three favorite people. We went on a four-wheeler ride, a long walk and out for ice cream. We finished our day with a snack tray supper, delicious cake from a friend and a movie. Ross and I will enjoy the Game of Thrones premier later tonight. It’s been a great day, year and life.